Summer Family Connection 1999
Chapel Hill Presbyterian Church

Wanted! Children after God's Own Heart!

A serial melodrammer in 5 Acts - by eldrbarry

[Act 1 . Act 2 . Act 3 . Act 4 .Act 5]

Act 5: Where's the Cavalry? Scene 1: The Stage

Windy: Welcome back, Cowboys and Cowgirls to our play. As you know, our hero Davy (enters takes a bow - cheers) has been framed by the villainous Snake Oil Snidely (enters takes a bow - boos). Helped to escape by his friend Deputy John (enters and bows - Clapping) and the sweet Clementine, (enters and bows - Ahhs). Clementines' father, Sheriff Saul (enters and bows - Silence) has jealousy pursued Davy through the wilderness, up until the showdown yesterday. Now we must get on with the story.
(All exit except Davy and Snake).

Davy: Wait a minute, Windy, I'm tired of this story. I'm tired of being falsely accused of something I didn't do. I know Sheriff Saul still wants to get me, though I showed him mercy. There's no hope that I will ever go back and see my darling Clementine again. I think I'll just run away. . .
Windy: What? Are you discouraged Davy?
Davy: It's too hard being a hero! I am tired of troubles. I can't go home.
Windy: So what are you going to do?
Davy: I think I'll join the Indians! (Drum beats start faintly)
Windy: Indians? What Indians? Are you crazy, Davy?
Davy: Not yet, but but I will be soon enough! (Stepping forward, Snake pulls him aside)
Snake: Oh, didn't we tell you about the Indians? It's all a part of my plot to get the gold, the girl and everything that's coming to me. (Laugh!!) All it'll take a jug of firewater and a few lies!! Cowtown and Clementine will be mine! Mine! Mine!
Windy: Snake, you'll get everything that is coming to you soon enough! Now about these Indians, Davy . . . (Indians enter)
Chief: Wait a minute, paleface! Before you can start the play, first you must hear disclaimer!
Windy: Disclaimer?
Chief: Yes - (points to Indian Brave) Brave Lawyer, Read Disclaimer!
Brave: (holds up document - reads) "The Indians in this play are blatant stereotyped misconceptions of Native American peoples which bear no actual resemblance to any tribal group or society, past or present."
Windy: So this means. . ?
Brave: We are pretend Indians! For plot purposes only. Real Indians wouldn't stoop to demean themselves with a two bit play like this! And they wouldn't talkum likum this either!
Windy: Plot purposes? Snake, are you behind this? You're the plotting one! (Snake laughs)
Davy: No! He's not! Its in the Script! Your script!
Windy: Well all right then, can we start the play now? Snake? Chief? Davy?
Snake: (sinister laugh - then exits), Chief (nods - and exits),
Davy: You betcha! (exits)

Scene 2: The Indian's Camp

Windy: So let's begin again. Davy, the Outlaw, discouraged and certain that Saul is still out to get him, has decided to join the Indians. (Enter Chief and Indians - VBS staff with headbands and feathers) (Faint Drum beats)

Brave: (enters with Davy and brings him to Chief) Me gottum Recruit, Chief!
Chief: You don't have to talk that paleface talk with me, brave. Recruit? That's a paleface! Are you loco? (distant train whistle)
Brave: No, I am a brave, not a train!
Chief: I mean loco, you know, crazy, nuts - psychologically disturbed!
Brave: I'm not crazy, but he is! (Pushes Davy forward - who continues to act a bit bizarre.)
Davy: You wouldn't scalp a crazy man would you?
Chief: How do I know you are crazy?
Davy: Would I want to join the Indians, if I wasn't?
Brave: Pardon my interruption, Chief, but he does have a point there! And for the moment his hair too!
Davy: I thought we could become blood brothers!
Chief: Blood brothers? What is that?
Brave: A custom the palefaces think we have! Something to do with knives, I think! It is a very unwise and unhealthy custom. I would discourage any part in it!
Chief: Forget that then! You will take our Indian oath of allegiance? And swear to the disclaimer!
Davy: Sure! I will! Gee, can I wear a feather too! Do I get a tomahawk?
Chief: O.K. (to Brave) Assign him a Tee Pee. Get him a uniform! Rain dance practice starts after lunch! (Brave exits with Davy) (Snake enters)
Snake: You remembrum our deal, chief?
Chief: I remember!
Snake: You and your tribe do a little raiding and warpath practice. (Chief nods) Then you take care of That Sheriff and his Deputy. (Nods again) and I will supply you with plenty of firewater. (Snake Holds out jug). Care for a sip?
Chief: (Sips - its powerful stuff) We will remember! (Both exit)

Scene 3: A Few weeks Later - in Cowtown

Windy: The Indians are on the warpath. They have been raiding the nearby ranches and farms. People are upset. Sheriff Saul and Deputy John are going out to try to stop them. (Enter Saul, John, and Clema)
John: Are we ready, Sheriff?
Saul: Yep! We gotta stop those thieving red skins, before they get up the nerve to attack Cowtown too. I've heard that that Davy the Outlaw is with them. I smelled trouble when I first saw him. Sheep! Thew!!!
John: Sheriff, I'll get the horses, and the men together. (exits)
Clema: Oh Daddy, Davy wouldn't do anything to harm us. I know you are wrong about him.
Saul: Clementine, The Indians were peaceful, till he joined them. Forget him, he's no good. Find someone else for a boyfriend, Clementine. (Snake enters - winks at the audience and "dandies" himself up.)
Clema: Oh Father! Oh Father! If you could only see past your jealousy. (Sits and Weeps)
Snake: Sheriff, there you are!
Saul: So did you get that information I wanted!
Snake: Straight from a Witchdoctor, or so to speak. Yes, the Indians are camped in Dead Horse Canyon. It's a trap if I ever saw one! (sinister laugh towards Audience) Yeah, only Saul will be the one in the trap!! And Cowtown will be all mine! (To sheriff) Only one way in and no way out!
Saul: Clementine, give your father a hug! I have to go! (she hugs him)
Clema: Oh Father, be careful! Don't hurt Davy!
Saul: I will be careful, Darling, but I won't spare that outlaw! I got to ride! (departs)
Clema: If only Davy was here!
Snake: (approaches menacingly) Miss Clementine, your Davy is gone, and now your father too! I will take care of you, my little dove!
Clema: (Looking at him, realizing something is wrong). What do you mean?
Snake: Clementine, I have long admired your lovely face. I've recently become a successful businessman, and I need a lovely wife by my side! Someone lovely like you! Who will attract adoring cowboys to my establishment! And distract them while I serve them rot gut sarsaparilla.
Clema: Successful businessman? Wife? Me?
Snake: I will be opening Snidely's Cowtown Saloon tomorrow - I have taken over the mortgage to your boarding house. It and you are mine now!
Clema: It is my home! You bought it? How?
Snake: Let's just say I got a Loan from the Bank!! (Holds up mask and slingshot)
Clema: It was you that robbed the bank! You framed Davy. When my father gets back . . .
Snake: He's not coming back, my dear!
Clema: What!
Snake: He's riding into a trap! Just a little arrangement between myself and the Indians!
Clema: Oh no!
Snake: So, my Darling, now you must agree to marry me!
Clema: Never! Never!
Snake: (Not listening) So I will have the gold, the girl and everything that's coming to me!! You will marry me tomorrow or else!!
Clema: Or else?
Snake Or else, I tie you to the railroad tracks, till you change your mind or the train comes, which ever happens first, my darling! . . . Ha! Ha! Ha! (Leaves laughing, as she collapses weeping)

Windy: So Davy has joined the Indians who are about to massacre Saul and John; and Snake Oil Snidely plans on tying poor Clementine to the railroad tracks unless she agrees to marry him. And where is the Cavalry when you need them? The Lone Ranger? Tonto? Even Roy Rogers? Who will save this day? We will find out in the conclusion to our Play.

(Part 2)

Windy: So Davy has joined the Indians, they are about to massacre Saul and John, and Snake Oil Snidely plans on tying Clementine to the railroad tracks unless she agrees to marry him. But the Cavalry hasn't been the same since they cancelled F Troop. The Lone Ranger lost his mask in court and Roy Rogers had Trigger Stuffed. Who will save the day? We will find out now in the conclusion to our Play.

Scene 4: The Indian camp!

(Drum beats) (Chief, Indians and Davy enter doing war dance.)
Chief: Fellow Indians!
Indians: Whoops!
Chief: It is time to attack the palefaces!
Indians: Whoops!
Chief: We will ambush them at Dead Horse Canyon!
Indians: Whoops!
Brave: Wait a minute, Chief?
Chief: Yes? What?
Brave: That new recruit, Davy! I don't trust him! He's a paleface too!
Chief: He has been a good Indian, keeps his word always, brave, loyal, obedient and fair.
Brave: But he's a paleface.
Chief: And the palefaces think he is an outlaw and want him dead or alive!
Brave: But he's a pale face. I don't trust him! Palefaces speak with forked tongues like snakes.
Davy: There is only one Snake I know that does that!
Brave: Quiet, recruit! I say we leave him behind!
Chief: What do the rest of you say?
Indians: We don't trust him! Leave Him behind!
Chief: Sorry, Davy! You can't go on the warpath with us today. You have to stay here. The Indians have decided.
Davy: What have I done that you don't trust me?
Chief: Sorry. You must stay. We must go! (Leads Indians in war dance off the stage, whooping- leaving Davy)

Windy: Disappointed Davy!
Davy: Yep! No body likes me! No body wants me! The people in Cowtown don't. Now the Indians don't either. I have never been so discouraged. Everything has gone wrong.
Windy: Perhaps it's for the best! Sometimes the best things happen when things are at their worst!
Davy: Best? Why?
Windy: You wouldn't have wanted to go on the warpath with your own people would you?
Davy: No, I guess I wouldn't have. I am kind of glad I don't have to go.
Windy: Besides, I have other plans for you! And they involve Clementine and Cowtown!
Davy: What?
Windy: It's up to you now to save Clementine and give Snake Oil Snidely everything that's coming to him!
Davy: Clementine! What has that Snake done with her?!
Windy: (distant train whistle) Looks at pocket watch) No time to explain, you have a train to catch. You had better ride! Take my horse and ride like the wind? (Davy rushes off)
Windy: (Chuckles) Yep! Snake, you got it all coming now!

Scene 5: Dead Horse Canyon.

{center stage has two hay bale rocks. John peeks around wing pistol extended}
John: Sheriff, Cover me!
{John dashes to crouch behind hay bale in center, looks about and waves Saul forward. Saul dashes to the other wing, pistols out}
Saul:See anything Deputy?
John: No, not a feather! (John dashes back to wing
Saul: I'll check around, cover me! Saul dashes to Bails}
John: Did you check the Rocks?
Saul: Not here!
John: Behind those trees?
Saul: Not there!
John: How about in those bushes?
Saul: Nope, Not there either!
[John moves to center}
Saul: I don't understand, the Indians were supposed to be in this Dead end canyon? And I was so sure that no good, sheep smelling, bank robbing sheriff wanna be was gonna be here too!
John: Who told you that?
Saul: Snake got the information for me. He swapped some of his rot gut sarsaparilla to the Indians for it. He said Davy would be with them.
John: You trusted Snake!?! And broke the law too, letting him give liquor to the Indians!!!
Saul: I did what I had to, but he was wrong, the Indians are not here.
John: No, he was right. They are here. We are surrounded. And we're trapped too! (Whoops) Here they come!
(Saul and John pull out guns and start shooting as Indians enter and circle around and around. Indians carry all sorts of silly weapons - supershooters to toilet plungers and kitchen itensils. Lots of Shooting -- Saul and John have cap guns -- and plenty of whooping!)
Saul: Take that! And That! And That!
John: There's lots of Indians, but I don't see Davy anywhere!!
Saul: Keep shooting, Deputy!
John: I'm hit! They got me! (Dying scene)
Saul: Take that! And that! Oww! They got me too! (Overdone Dying scene)
(Indians whoop it up and take their hats and leave! Drumbeats taper off and stop)

Windy: And so we have witnessed the sad end of Sheriff Saul. Consumed by his jealousy and pursuit of Davy, he set the stage for his own fall. But meanwhile Snake Oil has darling Clementine down by the railroad tracks.

Scene 6 : Meanwhile at the Railroad tracks

(Enter Snake and tied Clementine)
Snake: Marry me!
Clema: Never!
Snake: I have everything all now except you!
Clema: You have the morals of a polecat, and the face of a skunk! Everything you have has been stolen or lied for. But you will never have me. Never!
(Train whistle)
Snake: Hear that!
Clema: Oh father! Oh Davy! Where are you! Help! I'm Tied to the railroad tracks! Help! The Train is coming!
Snake: Marry me and I will set you free. The train is almost here!
(Louder Train whistle)
Davy: (Enters to cheers) You liar and cheat! You scoundral! Let her go!
Snake: (Pulls out slingshot fires, but misses) Drat! I never could shoot one of these! (Davy snatches it from his hands, then rushes to Clema)
(Even Louder Train whistle)
Clema: Hurry Davy, the Train is coming!
Davy: As soon as I untie these knots!! These weren't tied by any boy scout! (Whistle and loud chugga sounds)
Clema: DAVY!! (Davy pulls her free) My hero, hugs him!
Snake: I gotta get out of here now! (Starts off stage - only to be escorted back on the Indians who also enter.)
Chief: We got you now paleface who speaks with forked tongue.
Snake: Now wait a minute, Chief! We had a deal, right?
Chief: You gave us bottles of Castor Oil, not firewater. You broke your word. We will fix you good!
Snake: Curses, foiled again!

Windy: Well, Sheriff Davy?
Davy: Sheriff?
Windy: Yes, Sheriff! You won the election! This belongs to you now! (Pins on a star) br> Clema: My hero!
Windy: What are you going to about Snake? He has some things coming to him!
Davy: Hey, Chief? My friend!
Chief: Yes paleface. I see you are a Chief of the palefaces now!
Davy: Do you have any tar and feathers? And a good barber?
Chief: We got plenty!
Davy: Then take this miserable cur and give him everything he deserves.
Chief: He will get everything he has got coming to him. He will get a good haircut too! (Slices neck with finger)
Davy: And see to it, he never comes back to Cowtown.
Chief: We go now in peace, brave warrior, Davy. (Indians leave with Snake, pleading for mercy)
Davy: Come Clementine, we must ride home to Cowtown! I have work to do there!
Clema: My hero! Sheriff Davy.
Davy: My Darlin' Clementine!

Windy: And so we come to the end of our drama: The Ballad of Davy the Outlaw. Our story has been based on events in the life of another David, who was pursued wrongly by another Saul in the wilderness. Many similar events happened in David's life before he became King. He killed a Giant named Goliath. Warned by Jonathan and his first wife Michal, Saul's daughter, David had to flee from a jealous Saul. He spared Saul twice in the wilderness. He pretended to be crazy and lived with the Philistines. Sent away from the battle in which King Saul and Jonathan were killed, he had to rescue his second wife Abigail from the Amalekites. David was a man of character - Brave, Loyal, Obedient to God, Merciful, and God delivered him from many troubles because he was what God Wanted! A Man after God's Own Heart.

The End

This play dramaticizes the stories of David and Saul in 1 Samuel 16 - 31. In the Melodrama, Windy represents the Lord and God's Spirit at work in David's life. Snake Oil represents the "devil and his hencemen" - David's enemies [See Psalms 7, 52, 54, 56, 59) . Clementine plays both Michal and Abigail, David's wives - combined into one character for simplicity in telling the stories.

© 1999 Barry McWilliams and Chapel Hill Presbyterian Church. Please e-mail for permission to use.

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